We thought we’d start off our first game review with a real gem for the Sega Genesis. Based on the 1990 Disney show of the same name, Tale Spin follows the adventures of Baloo (yes, the same bear from The Jungle Book) and his eternal struggle with pirates and snakes. Each level in the game is littered with a slew of deadly baddies, especially snakes. There are many different character models, which are completely disregarded in choice of the snake. But we digress.

The story of the game is ungodly long and not worth watching. Something about cargo. Just skip it, this isn’t Metal Gear Solid. Jumping right into the game play you’ll notice that the main character’s weapon of choice is of course a paddle ball. It’s not like your enemies have guns or anything and you’re a 1,000 pound bear. The efficiency of said paddle is in a word sporadic, at times it will deliver a swift one hit kill while other times you may as well not bother and take the hit. Common sense would say that the amount of shots would vary depending on the enemy type but in the world of Tale Spin that is just not the case. It’s really just a crap shoot.

If the prospect of wandering around level after level whacking enemies with a paddle ball and aimlessly searching for cargo in some of the most deviously crafted levels to ever crawl out of the bowels of hell seems dull, you can take some shred of comfort in the knowledge that the game play is varied in that aside from the platforming parts, there are also boss fights and side scrolling shooter segments in an airplane. The boss fights recycle the same background and three alternating enemies over and over again with little change in formula (one level has a gaping chasm in it for some reason which leads to an instant death). The shooter portions are a tad on the repetitive side having you pilot your plane through a swarm of the same enemies (including the weather, yes, even nature hates you) for the same amount of time in between platforming segments. But remember, this is a Disney game, and luckily all enemy pilots make it out alive in their parachutes.

 

The biggest problem we have with this game is its inconsistency. A problem that occurs in various aspect of the game play. Ranging from the aforementioned paddle ball weapon, to the camera which refuses to show you what’s below you causing you to make constant leaps of faith into the abyss. There are several instances in the game in which two identical walls are side by side, one of which can be passed through while the other is solid. This is especially annoying when you can see cargo crates right on the other side of the solid wall. Also, hamburger power ups heal hp, whereas ice cream cones, another food item, inexplicably freeze time instead of healing you. Speaking of hamburgers, if you happened upon a sewer and decided to dive into the water, swim a while through crab infested muck, and came across a juicy hamburger, would you eat it? Bear in mind it’s covered in people’s refuse.

Unless you are a die hard fan of Tale Spin (and we’re sure they exist) it might be best for you to steer clear of this game. It’s a playing experience that can very likely lead to severe psychological scaring that would take many trips to a shrink to work out.

Final Thoughts

John: Taking a look at this game now, I find myself with slightly different feelings then those I had as child. During my childhood Tale Spin was just a welcomed addition to my gaming collection. At that innocent point in my life, I enjoyed playing any game that was set in front of me. But years later, as I sit here a slightly more cynical individual, I just can’t bring myself to ignore the abomination that is Tale Spin. As a game, Tale Spin is quite simply: awful.

Greg: I did the best I could to block this game out of my mind. It’s mediocre combination of both platforming and side scrolling shooting is the bane of my existence.