1987 Marvel Parade Float Review

Every company will make a bad business move every now and then. It’s just part of the whole business world. Marvel Entertainment Group is certainly no exception to that rule. For within the stable of very successful and innovate ideas they have developed over the years there lies more then a few black sheep, disasters such as the 2003 Hulk film. But I’m not here to talk about that Hulk movie; instead I will be discussing something that I find to be even more idiotic.

Video Game Review: Assassin’s Creed (360)

I was actually looking forward to Assassin’s Creed because it had so much potential. An open world game in a Medieval setting where you play an assassin? Count me in! In actuality it is a bland open world with repetitive missions and poor combat controls where the main character is anything but an assassin. Count me out!

Sad, Sad Day - Spider-man’s Deal with the Devil

If Spider-man is known for anything, it’s having one bad day after another.

You know, like, my-best-friend’s-father-killed-the-love-of-my-life kind of days?

But these last few days of Spidey’s may have been the worst of them all – for readers of his books, that is.

Video Game Review: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (360)

I have never liked the Call of Duty series. I played the first one on the PC and was not very impressed with it. It wasn’t until I spent an entire weekend playing Call of Duty 2 on my 360 (and I mean the whole weekend, no food or sleep) that I truly hated the series. Those were the most frustrating 1000 gamer points I’ve ever gotten, aside from CoD4. So despite hating the series I decided to give CoD4 a go since people were telling me it wasn’t like the others… a whopper of a lie.

Fin Fang Fettuccine - An Open Letter to Marvel Entertainment Group

For Marvel Entertainment Group;

Joe Quesada, Stan Lee, Avi Arad, and all others whom it may concern -

Every Marvel comics reader, when they open up a newly purchased comic, before wiping their fingers, while they carefully handle the glossy pages, is looking for something – they want to be walking down the streets of New York, bite into a lukewarm hotdog purchased from a street vender, look up, and see Spider-man swinging past; or, they wish to see the Fantastic Four, in the Fantasticar, flying out of a hanger in Four Freedoms Plaza; Some may wish to, when biting into that hotdog, catch a glimpse of Thor, Mjolnir in hand, fighting the trickery of Loki.

Unfortunately, this isn’t possible; these heroes do not frequent our city streets – the next best thing, for us, is to fork over $5.95 for a “Dare Dog,” with fries and apple sauce, and enjoy the superhuman environment only a themed restaurant can provide.

Cam Clarke’s Absence from MGS4

Many people have asked me “John, why did you buy a PS3”. Without hesitation I can provide the definitive answer by responding, “To play Metal Gear Solid 4”. It’s impossible for me accurately put into words just how excited I am for MGS4.

I’ve heard many confirmed facts and rumors regarding the game, but I don’t concern myself too much with them. I know I will love the game regardless of what happens with it. There is just no way I can be disappointed by the game. Well, on second thought, there is one small thing that disappointments me regarding MGS4.

Et tu Full Throttle?

I’m a little delirious with nausea as I write this but I need to get the message out as quickly as possible. There is a menace sitting in convenience stores, supermarkets, and vending machines around the nation, nay, the world. It is available for sale to people of any ages and leaves a trail of destruction and vomit in its path. What is this monster you ask? Why it’s none other than Full Throttle. It hits your taste buds like napalm and corrupts everything within you on its way down. Once inside of you in continues its agenda of decay, rotting away your bodily organs. I drank the entire freaking can (and am now regretting that decision) despite hating it after the first sip so that I could give you, the reader, a strong opinion on this product. Stay away from this drink at all costs. (If you need an energy drink try Rockstar, it’s awesome.)

Xbox 360 D-Pad Outrage

Don’t get me wrong, I love the 360 and its controller (which aside from a right analog stick and shoulder buttons is the Dreamcast controller). The 360 is the first console I’ve had with a wireless controller and I absolutely love not having to untangle cords or get up to turn on/off the console. That aside, I hate the D-Pad on the 360 controller so god damn much. Find out why after the break. *dun dun dun*

Video Game Review: Sonic The Hedgehog (PS3)

In the months leading up to the release of the next-gen Sonic game, the gaming community was bombarded with material hyping it up. Marking the 15th anniversary of the franchise, this game promised to bring life back into a series that was sadly in dire straights for many years. After much anticipation, the game was finally released. Did it meet up to the hype? Did it succeed in revitalizing the Sonic franchise? Well the answer to that my dear readers is no.

I’m by no means the first person to point out the problems with this Sonic game. So instead of re-hashing the things I’m sure you’ve heard already, I would like to take a more personal approach with this post. I would like to share my personal feelings on this game and attempt to express to you just how much this game hurt me.

Candy Review: Marvel Candy Sticks

I’m aware that it has been a while since there was a new post. We’ve both been busy and been unable to find anything to rant about/review. Luckily, however, there were some Marvel Candy Sticks sitting in my drawer that I purchased months ago and I figured what the hell, talk about those. If you’re interested in candy that’s shaped like chalk and tastes like marshmallows follow the break.