A little over a decade ago, a script started floating around Hollywood entitled Tonight, He Comes about a superhero named Hancock who is the last of his kind in the middle of a PR nightmare. Now, we approach opening day for Hancock, which is set to star Will Smith, and expects to be a contender for the Superhero summer blockbuster, duking it out with Iron Man, which totally blew me away, and The Dark Knight, which you all know I can’t wait to see.

I would, however, love to wait to see Hancock. Actually, I’d love to wait forever - because it looks to me like the movie is going to suck. Read on why after the break.

There’s a reason this script has been floating around Hollywood for more than ten years without anyone picking it up. This is a superhero movie about a superhero that has no source material, and those films are infinitely hard to pull off. Why? Well, firstly, they’re lacking a fanbase, and secondly, the character generally comes out as underdeveloped, because the writers of the film will cut corners by making him a typical superhero.

In 1993 and 1994, two films about superheros who had not been born of the comic strip were made. Blankman and The Meteor Man.

Meteor Man was a film opening in 1993 written by, directed by, and starring Robert Townsend, about a man who is struck by a meteor and gains fantastical powers that suspiciously resemble those of Superman. It featured minor roles for the likes of both bill cosby and James Earl Jones. This “Meteor Man” unites his neighborhood against gang violence, teaching his town that one must fight for what they believe in. Not ony was this film cheesy, but it was really, really bad.

One of the reasons it is bad is because it had a whole lot of plot holes. It is rumored to have gone through many re-writes. I wonder how many re-writes a film that has been floating around Hollywood ten years has gone through?

Blankman was one of those godforsaken Damon Wayans films, about an inventor who develops a bulletproof suit, who naturally uses it to fight crime, rather than, I don’t know, sell it? Anyway, this is another one of those films that tries to be funny and heartwarming, and it doesn’t really end up doing either.

So, when what is now called Hancock started floating around Hollywood, these disasters were still fresh in the minds of producers. Now that everyone and his brother has done a superhero movie, it’s getting made.

Historically, comic book movies that aren’t based on comics fail miserably, as we can see here. Now, even if Hancock is successful at the box office, which it may very well be, (I expect Will smith to carry this film financially, even though if I Am Legend taught us anything it’s that Will Smith may equal box office success, but doesn’t always equal a good movie) I expect it to be a disappointment. From what I’ve heard about the plot, it sounds far too gimmicky for my taste. Hancock is a superhero going through a bit of a PR crisis - is this supposed to be a refreshing, tongue-in-cheek look at the superhero film genre? Really? Isn’t Amazing Spider-man just one big PR nightmare? Or how about X-Men? They weren’t exactly loved, now were they? Sounds to me like this is going to be Spider-man meets a mildly retarded Superman knock-off with Charlize Theron thrown in for good measure.

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