Deep in the heart of the House of Ideas, what has been called by many a “secret cabal” meets to discuss the top 10 of something Marvel related. Recently they decided to make a top ten Hulk Incarnations list. It was crap. More after the break.

(Note: I decided to do this post in lieu of a “Ten Dumbest Top Ten Lists” post, but if I get a lot of people who want to see that, I might do it later)

Marvel’s list, which made me question everything I’ve ever known (in a bad way), goes something like this:

10. Rick Jones Hulk: I mean, really? He has a mullet. Come on, now. Uncool.

9.Earth X Hulk: too low on the list for my taste.

8. Banner-less Hulk: Cool, but not that cool.

7.Zombie Hulk: Again, too low.

6. The Maestro: I mean, I guess.

5.Ultimate Hulk: Cool character, but I wouldn’t have put him that high. I mean, Ultimate Hulk cooler than Earth X Hulk? I love you, Mark Millar, but not that much.

4.Grey Hulk: Sometimes Marvel relies on moral ambiguity a bit too much. Seeing them reinvent another character as morally ambigious was a little ridiculous. the Mr. Fixit era of Hulk is, in my eyes, better left swept under the carpet.

3. Green Scar: One slot off.

2. Savage Hulk: Also one slot off.

1. The Professor: This is absurd. The appeal of the Hulk to many is that he is a brute, and Banner has to pay the price with the life he lives. Seeing Hulk become your run-of-the-mill superhero, with guns and one-liners made me cringe.

So, I decided to make my own top five list. I’d encourage others to make their own list and post it below, and discuss this one. The point of this post is to actually have the fans of the character decide what’s cool.

5. Red Hulk: Beat the bejesus out of Abomination and later A-Bomb; Ed McGuinness has stated he plans on having Red Hulk push back the unstoppable Juggernaut, and even kill Wendigo. This dude is really, really badass.

4. Zombie Hulk: Well, he’s Hulk, which is badass, and he’s a zombie, which is also badass. That makes zombie Hulk doubly badass.

3. Earth X Hulk: Alex Ross is friggin’ awesome. And his version of Hulk, in which Bruce Banner is separate from Hulk, blind and “de-aged,”  while Hulk acts as his eyes, taking the form of a giant ape, is probably even more awesome than he is. Ross brought an interesting perspective to Hulk, doubtless.

2. the Green Scar: Instead of making Hulk super-intelligent, which people always seem to try to do when they want to change the character, I thought it was fun to see the character evolve naturally - learning to use tools and weapons, as well as make allies.

1. Savage Hulk: The Hulk that started it all could have beat the living crap out of all these other incarnations - I mean, he beat the snot out of Onslaught. I think that might constitute a “’nuff said.”