RedEye’s Superhero Tourney Flawed…

And making me slightly nauseous.

Seriously, a tournament featuring the greatest superheros of all time always sounds like a good idea, but is usually flawed in practice. Like this one, conjured up by the Chicago Tribune Redeye.

Take a look at the brackets.

Stan Lee Bracket

Superman Vs Mr. Fantastic

Captain America Vs Captain Marvel

The Thing Vs The Shadow

Wonder Woman Vs Spawn

Kevin Smith Bracket

Batman Vs The Spirit

Thor Vs Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Silver Surfer Vs Popeye

The Flash Vs Flash Gordon

Nicolas Cage Bracket

Spider-Man Vs The Phoenix

Black Panther Vs The Punisher

Green Lantern Vs Green Arrow

Iron Man Vs Elektra

Rosario Dawson Bracket

Wolverine Vs Sub-Mariner

Hellboy Vs Daredevil

Hulk Vs Aquaman

Catwoman Vs Kitty Pride

Now, I see a few problems here. For instance, I can call this brawl right now – The Phoenix blows everyone away. The Phoenix has the power to destroy this solar system 100 times over. Seems to me she’s too powerful to put into a tourney like this. One could argue Supes is too, but if anybody could exploit that kryptonite weekness, it’s Mr. Fantastic. Spawn, however, was at one point more powerful than God, more powerful than the Devil. So, if this is really supposed to be a matchup in which we find out who was most powerful, it’s some kind of three-way battle between Superman, The Phoenix, and Spawn, which makes my head hurt.

The Kevin Smith Bracket appears to be filled with an extreme number of mismatches. Spinach isn’t going to help Popeye here, and Buffy might be used to fighting the paranormal, but the Gods don’t get all hot and bothered by wooden stakes.

I also wonder about the bracket names. Kevin Smith I get, he’s done wonders for comics in the mainstream, like Stan Lee has, but Rosario Dawson? Come on, give Loeb or Miller, or even Bendis a bracket.

I’d make a bracket with my predictions, but I think I’m having a minor stroke, so I’m going to wrap this up. This sucks.