I know that as an Internet user I must be prepared to read about ludicrous speculation every time I go online.  But just because I know I must put with crazy rumors certainly doesn’t mean I have to like it.

Even though several months have passed, I still find myself nursing scars from the Dark Knight pre-release speculation; truly it nearly killed me.  Yet somehow I managed to survive the months and months of insane rumors including the “Fake Joker Theory” and the “Zip Line Accident”.

After living through the craziness of the Dark Knight rumor mill I began bracing for the inevitable; I readied myself for the Dark Knight sequel speculation.  I thought I was ready but boy was I wrong.  Despite Dark Knight being released only a little over 5 months ago, the rumors for the sequel have already reached a disheartening degree of madness.

It started tame enough.  In fact I was intrigued with the first headline I recall hearing; the announcement that Johnny Depp was being considering for the Riddler.  To be quite honest I hope that particular scenario comes to pass, as I feel Depp would be a phenomenal Riddler.

But sadly all the rumors couldn’t be as logical as “Depp as the Riddler”.  No, instead we got talk of Cher as Catwoman.  Now don’t think I have anything against Cher, she is a charismatic icon that has proven herself in multiple entertainment fields.  Yet try as I might I can’t see her playing such a physically demanding role.  Not to mention the fact she is 28 years older then Christian Bale.

I was sorely mistaken when I assumed that the “Cher as Catwoman” rumor would be the worst of it.  But I can’t really blame myself, after all how on earth could I have ever foresaw this story from thesun.co.uk:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/article2048300.ece

From that “news article” we learn that in regards to the Dark Knight sequel:

1. Eddie Murphy will play The Riddler.
2. Shia Labeouf will play Robin.
3. The movie will end with Wayne Towers blowing up and Batman’s fate left unknown.

Oh my dear jolly jeepers how the heck do I begin to understand that?  Looking at those three statements just makes my mind ache.  I can’t even come to terms with one of those statements let alone all three.  All right so I guess a good argument could be made as to why Eddie Murphy would make a good Riddler.  But how can I even start debating that argument when those two other statements are just so boldly slapping me in the face.

Shia Labeouf as Robin?  Absolutely not I say.  I have nothing against the actor but the Nolan series doesn’t need a Robin right now.  Dark Knight ended on a cliffhanger leaving Batman as a villain in the eyes of Gotham’s citizens.  The next movie should focus on Batman’s redemption and throwing Robin in the mix needlessly complicates things and risks muddling the presentation off the overall narrative.  There is also the little fact that Chris Nolan has stated quite clearly that as long as he’s director Robin will not appear in the series.  I guess if Nolan decides to leave and a new director is brought in then the chances of Robin appearing increase.  But even with Nolan off the project I think Warner Brothers would realize that Robin just isn’t right at this time.

That last rumor is easily the most ridiculous.  Every other source that I have read, including interviews from Chris Nolan and David Goyer, have indicated that no script has been started for the next movie.  If no script exists then how in the freaking hell can The Sun claim to have exclusive info on the ending of the film?  Even if I were to bite the proverbial hook and believe the ending rumor to be true I would be unable to believe Warner Brothers would let such a key scene leak out so early in development.

The Sun’s “story” is obviously all bullshit and I kind of feel guilty for wasting time writing about it.  I guess I just wanted to vent a little bit, let off some steam in preparation for what’s to come.  I know the rumors are only going to get more bizarre and that knowledge scares me in a way that no super-villain ever could.